I have never met a person who didn’t have a bad day. Everyone has moments when they are irrational, lash out, cry for no reason (seemingly), or are just plain grumpy. Little kids have the same moments. On occasion, we even have those moments at the same time…parent and child…locked down in a moment of despair, anger, or frustration. How did we get there? Can we prevent it? Are we in a cycle that we don’t know how to stop? How do we know that we are doing the “right” things and how can we sustain an emotional fulfilling existence for our families?
My daughters have, so far, already given me a run for my money on MANY days at ages 3.5 and almost 2. They are overall well behaved, but they have times of the day, cycles of moods, or whining fits that sometimes bring me to my knees. My peditrician always says that the first way to diagnose the reasons for your child’s misbehavior is to figure out if they are hungry or tired. Luckily, up to this point, it seems that the majority of outbursts and difficult moments can be resolved with a nap, a snack, or a better controlled sleep schedule. As our family gets busier, though, with another baby on the way, work responsibilities, packed activity schedules, I find myself worried about the effect of such a hectic life on my little children…and on me. How do I know if my children’s needs are being met? Is there more to a child’s needs than sleep, eating, and playing? How can I understand how my and my husband’s behavior is impacting our kids?
Many of us lean on our friends, moms, sisters, pediatricians, teachers, etc. to understand our children’s behavior and how we can positively and negatively impact their upbringing. Sometimes, though, we need objective. Right? I belong to several online mom’s groups on Facebook where moms like me post questions to women we mostly don’t know, searching for affirmation, answers to questions, and just general parenting support. Some of us even turn to parenting coaches. A parenting coach is usually a licensed counselor who can help us understand our children and our behavior a little better. It is often refreshing to just have an objective person, another mother, a person who has probably seen or heard worse, to just talk to when we need it. Parenting is hard. Sometimes we just need a little support.
I have a friend parenting coach who recently started an online presence where she will be posting twice weekly articles on various parenting topics. It is fabulous information that makes you really take a step back, a deep breath, and a fresh look at how we interact with our children. Here is a an article she just posted that really got me thinking about my constant use of my iPhone. Check it out here: http://parentuneup.wordpress.com/2012/05/06/do-you-know-what-your-childs-eyes-look-like-today/.
Both of my kids are whimpering at my feet as I type this last paragraph. I think it is time for me to get offline for today:). Leave a comment below and tell us about how you find the support you need?
Photo courtesy of http://www.good-child-guide.com/.
Websites like mommybreakdown!!! Thanks for posting a link to that other article as well. Looking into my son’s eyes when he is in a whiney hold pattern does really work sometimes.
Luckily, we have an amazing pediatrician who has provided great advice. Mother-in-law is encouraging – or good for a break from the madness when all else fails!